7 Aspects Towards Life Enrichment & Enhancement

A Life Coach gets to meet different personalities, one thing being common in them; they are unique.

Coaching impacts both client and the coach. Both learn valuable lessons in the entire journey. In my life coaching journey, I worked on a framework which covers most of the aspects of leading an enhanced and enriched life.

Everyone wants to extract maximum value from his or her current situation. The desire to do things beyond comfort level and regular boundaries give an adrenal rush. However, routine work, travel, family, social commitments make this difficult to achieve. Many of us, don’t even get to know, what we want, or what our goal or Purpose in life is.

Based on my experience, here are seven aspects which if in control, can make you experience an enhanced and enriched life.

Emotional Intelligence: 

Our emotions are important to us, they are the source of our inner feelings. They push us to take actions. However, emotions can make us behave and act irrationally, which can make other people uncomfortable or detached. That is why we need emotional intelligence.

EI is a set of skills that enable you to recognise and manage emotions, both yours and other people

Many of the decisions including business decisions and choices are made by our feelings. EI empowers you to understand your emotions, fears, strengths, and mental blocks. It creates the pathway to be in control of self, work, personal situations and generates empathy.

Positive Thinking:

Positive Thinking brings a lot of power and energy to self and can be learnt through continuous practice. The positive thinkers are focused and are aware of what they want; they look out for the ways of achieving their goals or making their dreams a reality. They spark energy as they have something to look forward.

Positive thinkers try out various ways to reach their destination and appear confident in achieving their goals.

Ever wondered about people, who can do more and give back to the world with limited resources in hand. They know how to kick in the face of negativity. Keeping a positive nature and thinking can enable empathetic nature and result in taking positive actions in life.

Relationship Wellness: 

Managing relationships are one of the most complicated things. Be it personal relationships or professional ones; one needs to handle the relationship portfolio with care.

An excellent relationship brings joy, happiness, satisfaction and delight. Be it relationship with parents, siblings, life partner, friends, Co-workers or boss, if not managed can bring difficult times to one’s life.

People quit their jobs because of a bad relationship with their bosses or Co-workers. This is one of the top reasons for quitting a job according to the latest surveys. Due to this, they also lose the future opportunities to work with them.

People are loyal to other people or positive experiences than to a brand.

Professional Wellness:

This is a two-way street. When someone takes up an offer from a company, the risk is at both ends. Is the person taking up the job or planning a career in the company? Can the company provide the career, the aspirant wants?

It is important that a person knows what s/he wants out his/ her professional life. It does not have to coincide with the education a person gets neither with what others are doing. Professional decisions are as personal as personal choices are. A person can be happy with an average work/ job or aspire to be at the greatest heights in any field of work.

Once a person internalises emotional intelligence, positive thinking, relationship management; the chances of achieving professional happiness, wellness and balance are much higher.

Financial Wellness:

Money, it makes the world go round whether it is for family, for business, buying a home, taking a vacation or daily purchases. Financial success in the game of life is vital and crucial. Money management is not a daily or a weekly routine. We see the bills at the end of the month or on a due date, and wonder, how did that happen? Due to this many people realise the importance of saving through trial-and-error method, which can be stressful in the long run. Money management is not taught to us anywhere in school or college. Most of us, just learn it by ourselves or through a friend in financial services. Happiness through money is achievable when we give a close look at our money management practices.

Physical Fitness:

Having experience of my own, from the couch to a half marathon runner, I realised and appreciate the benefits of being fit. Exercise is not part of our routine; people take it as a tedious “good to have ” kind of thing. As children, we are not taught, that exercise is as important as dental and personal hygiene. Many people find it’s worth at a much later stage, to either delay the health issues or to fight existing health problems.

Lifelong Learning: 

Finally, the last aspect is – never stop learning. In failures, if a person learns something and not repeat the cause of failure, at the end it is a success. In success, the learning is to hold on to the success mantra. If you observe enough, there are plenty of opportunities to learn from everyday conversations, people you meet, the TV series or a movie you watch, a book you read. Knowledge is power, and it has no bounds to the end.

With these steps and little formable habits, one can feel the difference in the way of life and experience the richness in whatever you do.

What are your thoughts on these aspects? Which one would you like to embrace? Do leave your thoughts in the comments section.

If you like, what you read, do share it.

10 Life Lessons to be Happy & Successful in your 30s

birthday-photo

Last week I celebrated my 36th Birthday. A day before my birthday I told my husband and friends, I don’t want to do anything special this time. Anyway, it comes every year, and it’s like any other day. But on the day of my birthday, I was excited with the thought of being in this beautiful world since last 36 years.

Right from the day of my birth till today, it was a joint effort of so many lovely people, my family, friends, colleagues, managers and a lot of other people, including friends in the virtual world who have made me what I am today.

I felt a sense of gratitude. I looked forward to the day ahead.  I had ample time at home to swim through the memories of my previous birthdays and saw old photos to reminisce them, giving myself strong nostalgia. I realised that I have changed a lot after my 30th birthday and life has made better sense to me than it did in my younger days.

Things I did in my 30s challenged me in a way that my future looks much brighter.

Although there are things to learn each day, I am sharing a few chosen life lessons which made my life far better and balanced. I am sharing those with you, thinking those might benefit you too.

Reduce Unhealthy Habits

We all have our share of unhealthy habits even though we know that they cause permanent harm in exchange for short-lived excitement and intoxication. So while you can save your health getting worsened, try to reduce smoking, drinking alcohol & eating junk food, if not able to quit. I can assure you, you will sleep better and also save money for better things.

Start and Enjoy Exercising

I had started running when I was 32. I never did any exercise or indulged in any sports in my earlier years, so I was glad I picked up running. I have completed few half marathons. I now feel as energetic as I felt at 30. I took a couple of years to incorporate exercise into my daily routine; I am happy I started exercising at the right time if not late. Exercising not only keeps a check on your body weight but also boosts your metabolism & keep your skin young.

Save for your future today

Yes, it sounds boring and tedious thing to do, but if you start early, you will thank yourself later and won’t regret the decision. We all have disposable income at this stage of our lives, but having a habit of saving small amounts will keep you future-ready. I paid attention to my credit card bill and realised that I was spending too much for a 30-day credit. I took control of that and started more contribution for investment in the future.

Spend your money on having great experiences

Memories are for life. They make you happy and content. The world is such a beautiful place to explore and learn. Spend your money wisely and cherish your experiences. Make photo blogs/ albums or private journals to keep the memories alive.

Invest in your self-development

Your 30s are very crucial years in your career. You will face highs and lows. Invest time for self-improvement or development. Invest a little to hire a Life Coach or a Career Coach. Attend relevant training & seminars, build your network. Don’t ever be shy talking about your issues. Sort them and learn from them.

I had hired a life coach when I was 32, and it changed my life. I learned a lot when I quit my job last year. Investing in developing your thinking always brings benefits in more ways than you can imagine.

Take care of your hair, skin & teeth

In the mid-30s, talking about your hair, skin and teeth becomes a very common topic. Start taking care of your hair, skin & teeth as soon as you can. Drink a lot of water (I learned that a hard way), take lots of oil-based head massages (They are absolutely the best thing) and keep visiting your dental hygienist if you don’t want a big fat dental bill later in your years.

Indulge with yourself

There’s no right time to discover yourself and understand what makes you truly happy. The earlier you discover your inner voice and follow it, happier you would feel even in the small things. Spending time with yourself can be a very peaceful thing to do, away from the noise of daily routine & virtual life. Do things you like or are passionate about. If you like, you can meditate, focus on yourself and your mind.

Invest time in developing meaningful relationships

You may have a lot of friends from school, college and now on social media. But to keep your inner circle, you need to invest time and energy in those relationships. Be it in the family or with friends. When things go sideways or not according to your plans, you need people in your life who would be there come what may. Choose people who make you feel good about yourself. Nurture relationships, laugh and do silly things too.

Stop worrying about small things

A lot of things happen in life, good and bad. Few things are just out of your control. You can either worry about them and take stress or just leave them be. Remember that it’s your perception that dictates your worry.

Take life as it comes

Every person in this world has highs and lows. Be open to risks, explore new opportunities, career changes, and travel to new places. Take life on an exciting ride. Things will go wrong, be prepared for it, but at the same time, enjoy to the fullest. Flow with the life and you will enjoy the journey.

Do share your comments below and if you like this article, share it with your friends

The share buttons are below:

My Interviews – A series of unfortunate events

Being a Human Resource professional all my working life, I have taken hundreds of interviews for a wide range of mid-level to senior level positions. But after getting interviewed myself, in a prolonged process of the job hunt, I have learnt the many new ground realities.

I remember talking to a candidate in 2004 (being my first job) as part of the screening process. I was not having any clue about which role I was screening him, and I was honest enough to tell him about this. I asked him to just answer the transactional questions before I process him further.

My colleagues overheard and laughed; “why did you tell him that?” He must have felt puzzled.

I can only imagine that candidate’s plight more now than ever. 13 years later, now I am a candidate and most of the time I realise that I am talking to clueless recruiters. The only difference is that most of them don’t even know or realise that they are clueless.

Whether it is a single HR person or the interview panel, a bridge is to be formed by both the stakeholders, the company and the candidate for an effective and satisfying hire. Sitting on the other side of the bridge, I am sharing my story, from a candidate’s perspective.

Interviewer’s interviewing skills

The purpose of the interview is to gather as much information as possible from the candidate in order to judge if s/he will be able to perform well in the given job, or at least s/he has great potential of performing, as ready-made skills may not be available in the fast-changing world of today. In some of my experiences of interview giving, I realised that different levels of interviews are not synchronized. Each interviewer keeps on asking the similar set of questions and often the questions are not even relevant to the job.

I wonder, why many companies don’t invest in getting their interview panel go through an “interviewing training “or build an interviewer capability model, to prepare them for a right selection. Why it is often assumed that people know this skill if they are eligible to hire.

The dilemma of follow up

It’s really a dangerous space I have been in and have seen fellow job hunters in the same situation too. Most of the time the candidates’ deals with a cliff hanger response like, “We will get back to you” or worse “the forever silence” from the interviewing side. Although in many multinational companies it is considered polite to receive a ‘Thank-you’ mail from a candidate; but in the local scenarios the candidate is categorised as “Clingy”. I have considered myself lucky if the interviewer or recruiter has given me a timeline to give a response and stuck to it without my following up. But most of the time, there is some ambiguous response if one follow-up.

To follow or not? This is always a big dilemma for most candidates. They often wonder if the company is worth working if at all they are invited after a long suspense.

The Unexpected Response

After giving 4 to 6 rounds of interviews from junior to senior management levels, all you expect is a genuine feedback rather than a silence, or ambiguous response.

You feel you did great as you talked to the top management with very positive body-language, and discussed the future of the role. I had a long positive discussion with a company’s Board of Director as well and then …………. got the ‘unexpected response’. You hear things like, we don’t have the budget now, your skill sets are not matching, the position has gone on hold (Suddenly!), and there is a change in our business strategy (Overnight!)

Would it be so wrong to get a constructive feedback from the interviewer? Why in professional scenario giving a silence is a form of communicating ‘No’?

Career Break Phobia

A lot of recruiters suffer from this even now, especially in India. Although in most of the developed countries, it is considered healthy to take a break in the career for pursuing passions or further education. But In India, despite having long exposure to MNC culture, still people are judged based on breaks in their careers. While writing this article itself, I got a call from a recruiter and she disconnected the call after learning that I am not working currently. Why is it so wrong? Why the acceptability to have a career break is so low? Especially when the whole world is talking about innovation, thinking differently, developing a passion for performing new challenges, how can one get all these skills when stuck in only routine work day in and out?

The skills or talent gets only refreshed and one gets a new perspective to perform better in newer ways, with breaks. But some people still think such breaks reduce your talent or one unlearns everything one knows about performing a job.

I think India has a long way to go in order to be able to conduct interviews professionally and in an effective way. Fortunately, in some cases, the wheel is turning, but I wish transparent communication and basic courtesies would broaden the horizon in interviewing field.

What have been your experiences? And if you are a hiring manager, suggest how can you help your recruiters/ interviewers?

Looking forward to your responses in the comments section below.

Things I Learnt after quitting my job!

Last year in December, I moved to Mumbai for the 3rd time in my life. I was excited and nervous at the same time. One big change in my new life was I had quit my thriving and secure job. I was walking into the big unknown. But with no rush to get back to the corporate grind, I did enjoy some leisure time, before I started getting fidgety to have some purpose back in my life.

A year later to present day it has been a rollercoaster ride! This time and opportunity to be with myself helped me ask myself some hard questions about possibilities, opportunities, and life itself. When I look back now, I feel happy that I left the routine corporate job & don’t regret my decision.

Here’s why:

Grateful for “Getting Time”

The first thing you gain after you quit your job is “Time”. The number one excuse for not doing something or not able to meet people is ‘time’. Most of the hours go by commuting and the office hours.

I had parked so many important things in life all these years or paid far less attention to those. But in last 12 months, I could accomplish so much for myself. I started reading books, writing my journal, going to the gym, eating healthy, indulging in several DIYs, learnt a new musical instrument, binge-watched TV series, interacted with friends, family members and so much more. I never felt so content with the quality of time spent on all these to provide me a better quality of life.

If you ever are in such situation, there is a lot to gain on the other side.

You understand your emotions better

I never paid attention to understand my own emotions. I left those uncontrolled and allowed them to dictate my behaviour in most of the situations. In pursuit of finding the perfect job, I experienced various emotions. Sometimes coming too close to getting an offer for a job, I may have once wanted or just experiencing sheer flatness of the process. As I was journaling my days and my emotions, I got more aware of them. Now after all these months, I am able to keep my calm and have a way to handle negative energies without stress.

It’s not all that scary to be out of job

The thought of leaving well settled and secured job was fearful. But very quickly I came back into the track, I started depending on my own capabilities and skills. I made myself aware of areas where I can improve upon and started working on enhancing my skills. I realized that being secure is a state-of-mind because job cuts do happen, the management changes, companies fail. It’s more reassuring to be self-reliant.

Don’t let fear and insecurity cloud you from continuously improving and looking for new possibilities, especially in the area of your real interest.

You understand & respect Money

When I used to get my steady monthly income, I never thought twice about spending it, especially on things I didn’t need. I would say after this awakening, I have become judicious in my spending, I can sometimes feel like a borderline minimalistic. It turns out that, it is not too difficult to cut down on few luxuries, and trust me you will live comfortably. This has made me cautious and aware of my money management techniques. I think your spending habits adjust to your earnings, and once the earnings get back on your set goal the luxuries can barge in again.

So focus your expenditure on getting good life experiences, travel, workshops for learning & making new friends. This is the best opportunity to get rid of unnecessary material clutter.

The possibilities are endless

Once I got my first job that too in a big MNC, 13 years ago I thought this is it. I have entered the corporate world and here I will be always. In last 12 months, I got a new perspective and my mind has been a big creative hub throwing all sorts of ideas. Not all ideas were great, but some were definitely worth exploring. I spent a lot of time reading and knowing what kind of possibilities exist, it’s overwhelming to see the kind of opportunities available in this world.

A lot of people are taking that leap of faith and following their dreams, and in whichever area they enjoy, excel or trying to excel.

All you have to do is have an open mind and flexibility and you will be surprised to see the possibilities available to you.

You are more than your job title

When asked to introduce ourselves, many of us start telling our job titles, little realizing that our job is not who we are, it’s just what we do. Although it does help a little in defining you. After quitting, I never really prepared my answer to “what are you doing?” asked casually by people around. I got startled, even froze to that question. Somehow I was trying to explain my employment situation to others to give myself a sense of identity and purpose. I later realized that I was pressurizing myself into it while people around me really didn’t bother much. Those who judged me on this are anyway no longer in my life. I took the path of self-discovery and found so much to myself than my title and there are many people who are doing the same finding their own path.

Don’t be afraid to confront yourself and know who you really are, and other dimensions of your inner self.

More & more of self-reflection

I used to shush that sane voice coming from within. I buried myself in work and routines of life and paid little attention to good advice coming after some reflections. After quitting, I had no choice but to listen to that voice and in my ample “Me-Time” I had so much of self-realization, reflection, and contemplation that I must admit I thought why I did not do this earlier. Of course, it’s not impossible for you to have self-reflection, but it’s easier when you are in ease of time and not hurrying into the 9-5 (actually 8-8 in metros) and late hours.

Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes…

Including you – Anne Lamott

So!!!

You have 2 choices, either do nothing or do it without fear of failure

Yes, I could have lived spending my time on fun activities, thinking this time as a well-deserved break. To think about it, even doing nothing is not that simple.

In this journey, I have met so many people who have left their secured life and found their real passion and now they are pursuing their profession which gives them contentment and happiness. Even though some of my brilliant ideas failed and some did not even take off after a phone call, I am keeping my positive energy and learnings for me to excel.

If you have a dream you want to pursue & if you ever contemplate in taking that leap of faith. Don’t worry! The other side of yours will let you make your own adjustments and your passion will pull you through the unknown. Mine has!

I know, this has been a long read, but if you are still here, I would love to learn your views on this, please do share in the comments box.